Meeting Someone New? Safety First

Why Meeting Safety Matters

Online connections are a normal part of modern life—from dating apps to Facebook Marketplace. However, 1 in 10 Americans have been victims of romance scams, with losses exceeding $1.3 billion in 2023. Marketplace scams and social media frauds add millions more.

The good news? Most dangerous situations can be avoided with basic safety precautions and awareness.

Common Meeting Scenarios & Their Risks

Essential Safety Precautions Before Meeting

1. Video Chat First

For dating or social connections, insist on a video call before meeting. This verifies they are who they claim to be and helps you assess comfort level.

• Scammers often refuse or make excuses (broken camera, shy, etc.)
• Real people will understand it's a safety measure
• Multiple video chats are even better

2. Research Their Identity

Use available information to verify who they claim to be:

• Google their name + city/profession
• Check their social media profiles (length of history, friend connections, activity patterns)
• Use our name lookup tool to gather publicly available context
• Verify business/employer exists if mentioned

3. Tell Someone Where You're Going

Always inform a trusted friend or family member:

• Who you're meeting (name, profile info)
• Where you're meeting (exact location)
• When you're meeting (time and expected duration)
• Set up a check-in time

4. Choose Safe Meeting Locations

Best options for first meetings:

• Coffee shops or restaurants with good visibility
• Police station parking lots (ideal for marketplace sales)
• Mall food courts or busy public areas
• Daytime meetings preferred over nighttime

5. Arrange Your Own Transportation

Never let them pick you up or know your home address initially:

• Drive yourself, use rideshare, or have a friend drop you
• Park in well-lit, visible areas
• Have an exit strategy ready

6. Trust Your Instincts

If something feels wrong, it probably is:

• Don't feel pressured to stay if uncomfortable
• It's okay to leave at any time
• You don't owe anyone an explanation

Red Flags That Signal Danger or Scams

• 🚩 Refuses to video chat before meeting
• 🚩 Pushes to meet quickly without building rapport
• 🚩 Wants to meet at their home or yours immediately
• 🚩 Won't provide their real name or verifiable information
• 🚩 Social media profiles are new or have minimal activity
• 🚩 Story changes or inconsistencies emerge
• 🚩 Asks for money before or after meeting
• 🚩 Gets defensive when you suggest safety precautions
• 🚩 Pressures you to skip safety steps
• 🚩 Photos look professional or model-quality (possible catfish)
• 🚩 Claims to be military/overseas/traveling (common scammer story)
• 🚩 Love-bombs or moves relationship very fast

During the Meeting: Stay Safe

1. Arrive early to scope out the location and feel comfortable with the environment.
2. Keep your phone charged and accessible. Have emergency contacts ready to dial quickly.
3. Don't leave drinks or belongings unattended. This prevents tampering or theft.
4. Watch for red flag behaviors: Aggression, excessive drinking, inappropriate comments, pushy behavior.
5. Stay in public areas. Don't agree to go somewhere private or secluded.
6. Limit alcohol consumption. Stay alert and in control of your faculties.
7. Check in with your designated person. Send the agreed-upon "I'm okay" message.
8. Trust your gut. If uncomfortable, politely end the meeting and leave.

Special Considerations by Scenario

For Online Dating:

• Multiple dates in public before going anywhere private
• Don't share your address, workplace specifics, or financial details early
• Be wary of anyone asking for money (gift cards, "emergencies," investments)
• Reverse image search their photos to check for catfishing

For Marketplace Transactions:

• Meet at police station "safe exchange zones" if available
• Bring someone with you, especially for high-value items
• Inspect items thoroughly before paying
• Use cash for in-person; avoid Venmo/CashApp before meeting
• Never give personal info beyond what's needed for the transaction

For Social Connections:

• Verify through mutual friends when possible
• Look for established social media presence with real interactions
• Start with group meetings rather than one-on-one
• Be cautious of friendship that quickly turns to financial requests

What If Something Goes Wrong?

If you feel unsafe during the meeting:

• Go to a bathroom and call someone
• Ask staff for help (restaurant, store employees)
• Leave immediately—you don't need to explain
• Call 911 if you feel threatened

If you suspect a scam:

• End contact immediately
• Don't send any money
• Report to the platform (dating app, marketplace site)
• Report to FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov

If you've been victimized:

• Contact local police immediately
• If money was involved, report to FBI at ic3.gov
• Contact your bank if financial information was shared
• Consider counseling—romance scams especially can be emotionally devastating